The Christmas Doll

We bought Lizzie a doll for Christmas. This is a doll created to be as lifelike as possible for people living with dementia.

The doll was expensive (about $200 including shipping and handling) but she's been worth every single penny.

Lizzie has always been vivacious and fun. She lives with a twinkle in her eye and a sarcastic comment waiting for just the right moment to appear.

Despite living with dementia and losing so much of herself to this horrid disease, we still see many moments of Lizzie.

The doll has brought even more of these.

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

Lizzie loves "the baby".

She holds her carefully, talks sweetly to her, tickles her chin, taps her nose, and kisses her forehead.

Lizzie also sings and talks with the baby.

Because of the pandemic, there are times Lizzie is alone at her nursing home. Now with the baby, she is never alone. She has a companion who is willing to take all the love Lizzie has to give.

Lizzie is so proud of her baby.

• She's growing so quickly! 
• She said her first words the other day! 
• She's learning to sing! 
• She's such a sweet baby! 
• She never cries!
• She loves this song!

At times, Lizzie mentions that the baby is a doll, but most of the time, she treats her as a baby. And she loves her.

If you've considered a doll for your Loved One, all I can say is the baby has been one of our best purchases ever!

There are also stuffed animals (some are robotic) that are created for the same purpose.

How about you? Anyone else find a doll to be a great purchase? Or a lifelike stuffed animal? Any other success stories from gifts?

Power of Music 4 - Learning and Growing

 If you know me or Lizzie at all, you know we love music. All kinds of music.

Dementia is a hideous disease that affects the brain in so many ways. And many of those ways involve some kind of loss.

• precious memories
• friendships
• emotional control
• vocabulary
• physical control of her body

Lizzie has been in the nursing home for over 5 years now. She's experienced a lot of loss.

What surprised me in recent visits was that she's also shown evidence of learning and growth. Yay!!

As you know, Lizzie and I sing a lot during our visits. It's something she enjoys and it's a great way to help her retain her words and keep that brain active.

The other day, Lizzie started singing a song about Nicholas being ridiculous and not wanting to get up in the morning. She sang the same 3 or 4 lines multiple times. It was a song I'd never heard. I wasn't sure it was real, but when I looked it up, there it was!

This was during the pandemic. There had been so guests in singing or playing instruments. No one I spoke with had ever heard the song.

But, Lizzie was singing it. Not completely accurately, but the song is from the 30s!

When we were little, Lizzie introduced us to The Sound Of Music. We had the record of the movie and listened to it often. When I visit Lizzie we often sing several songs from the musical, including Raindrops On Roses.

When I first started singing this song with her, Lizzie would wave her hand like a conductor. She knew the beat and the rhythm, but the words escaped her. Now, she's able to sing along with the first verse and the chorus.

Repetition has helped her regain the joy of that song.

How about you? Has any song brought you good memories with your Loved One?

Small Gratitudes

 As we all know, the pandemic has been hard. Really hard.

In Lizzie's nursing home, the residents live in units of about thirty people. At the beginning of the pandemic, those rooms were full.

They are no longer full.

Death is a part of life, and in a nursing home, it is much closer than for most people.

Lizzie is at a stage in the dementia process where she rarely thinks of the people surrounding her unless they are right in front of her and interacting with her. She spends a lot of her time thinking about her childhood and her parents and brother.

When we're with her, she thinks about us. When she's with the people living in her unit, she thinks about them.

Photo by Gert Stockmans on Unsplash

The cliché Out of sight, out of mind, is often true for her right now. Which isn't a bad thing.

She doesn't realize that over the past year, she has lost many of her friends. She doesn't realize that in the past week, the two people she was closest to in her unit have died.

She's not grieving their deaths like we are.

When she passes their rooms, she doesn't notice the missing photos or name plates. Or the new people. She's focused on her inner world and the parts of the outer world that affect her.

Not a bad thing.

Even in the midst of a pandemic, even in the midst of dementia, there are things to be grateful for.

Hoping you have things to be grateful for today as well. Feel free to share!