I often use music as a way to redirect her from whatever is bothering her or whatever she has focused on.
Today, let's focus on music from my (or your) teen years. Music is often extremely important to teens and the songs are ingrained in our memory. Or maybe that's just me. 😊 Because we listened to and played (on the piano) a LOT of music during our teen years, Lizzie also knew our favourite songs really well. She also tends to remember who we had celebrity crushes on and we can use that as well.
Sometimes I use the, "Oh I heard this song on the radio on the way up to see you!" trick. I'll choose a song from our teenage years, something that she'll remember. I start to sing the song or the chorus.
From there, I can generally turn the conversation to something less stressful for Lizzie.
Photo by Lee Campbellon Unsplash
I love this song. The singer's hair reminds me I wore that same kind of style in high school. Do you remember those horrible curls I had? Why did I think that was a good idea?
This song always makes me think about dancing. Did you enjoy going to dances when you were younger? ...or... I remember how you helped me do my hair before high school dances. ...or... I remember when we used to dance in the rec room in the basement. ... or... What kind of dancing is your favourite? ...or... Did you and Dad enjoy the dances? ...or... Do you like watching movies with dancing?
I love Billy Joel's songs. He's such a great musician. I can't imagine being that talented. How old do you think he was when he learned to play piano? Can you imagine how scary it would be to play in front of a huge audience? Billy Joel whistles during some of his songs. Can you whistle? Billy Joel plays harmonica in this song. Was it your brother who was a good harmonica player?
This song is so much fun. I like the silly chorus. Can you think of any other silly songs? I like the way the chorus rhymes. What other words could rhyme with it?
I had so many Barry Manilow albums! I think my favourite was the one with the piano player statue on the front. What album covers do you like? Some of the albums were real photos, others were illustrated. Which do you like better? I wonder how many songs I can remember. Can you count for me as I list/sing them?
This song was popular when I started dating hubby. Hubby and I always danced to this song at high school dances. (These always lead her to talk about hubby who is one of her favourite people.)
This was the theme song from that TV show I used to watch. My favourite character was... I hated that show, but I liked the song. Did you? I liked the show but hated the song. Did you? What kind of song makes a good TV show song? Fast or slow? Serious or silly?
This song always reminds me of...
When I'm walking up from the parking lot at Lizzie's nursing home, I always pick a song or two in my head. This helps me be prepared for those moments where she might be stressed or scared or angry. Being prepared and having something chosen in advance always means I'll be more successful in helping her regain her equilibrium. Using music as a distraction has a good chance of helping Lizzie feel happy and content.
How about you? Have you ever used songs from your teen years to help soothe your Loved One? What other questions can you think to ask?
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